Requiem. The Sir Peter Ustinov Rewrite.

I've just finished a very successful rewrite of Requiem and I'm buzzing a little bit. I received a disappointing 65% for the assignment a few days ago and despite not having my feedback i embarked on a rewrite. I knew why i received a lower than expected grade and what needed to be improved so I wasn't going into it blindly. The reason for the rewrite was to enter it into this year's Emmy script competition. The Peter Ustinov Award to be precised.

The deadline was yesterday and I only knew my mark four days ago. So the pressure was on and without a doubt it helped.

The entire rewriting process was incredible and especially for a script that I thought was near-enough locked down. I was surprised that it wasn't as tight and finalised as I thought. So it was a pleasure to be able to not only fully realise my vision to the page but to even go beyond that. Links and opportunities that I never considered before came out of nowhere. Clarity of action and descriptions improved four-fold. The most heartbreaking but subsequently rewarding part was in getting scenes to flow page by page and that's getting them to end at the end of a page or half-way through and not have little bits hanging over. A few scenes were extended due to this and ended up becoming real gems and adding to the overall script in ways that I couldn't have imagined. It's incredible. I can't wait for future rewrites if this is anything to go by.

The Emmy Competition;

I'm not completely sure if Requiem is suitable enough for the 'family audience' criteria or even what they're looking for. It's no run-of-the-mill script and I've even surprised myself with it so I'm not entering it half-heartily. At first I was excited at the script being entered and still am. But I thought the odds are stacked against me so I shouldn't get my hopes up. But the most important thing is that no matter what I'm proud as hell of my script and I'm looking forward to other people reading it and telling me what they thought and how the experience was for them.

'It's these scripts, characters and stories that give life to us...not the other way around.'

- Robert Yates (Giving Life. Post)

The First And Last Priority.

We had a workshop today for our one hour dramas. In my case Requiem. I planned not to bring anything in because I didn’t have any completed pages. But I desperately wanted to so I worked all night till about two in the morning to fill in the holes in the first fifteen pages. (I always leave interior descriptions till last because I think it’s best to put your energy into the actual scenes; action and dialogue instead of wasting it on describing rooms.) The first five pages were read out and I received two major suggestions that has helped to change the course and overall quality of Requiem, which I’m really pleased about. This just makes me want to present stuff to people more often because sometimes there will be some good feedback and in this case its ripple effect has made Requiem a much more credible and together story.

The story of Requiem and it’s main storylines have been set for a long time as I’ve stated before. And at first with the comments I did think that two major flaws have been uncovered and now the script’s ruined. There was a little panic for about an hour or so. But I just found a way to adapt what was said and let my protective guard down and compromise. I did happen to lose a lot of my favourite things from the new changes. I know it’s ‘the way of a script’ but I had already lost a lot of what I thought were my ‘favourite’ things in order to improve the script. But for a moment I thought these current favourite things were the foundations of the script. They were and they weren’t. It’s just that I didn’t have the right balance of things and looking back it doesn‘t work. So I adapted and worked the feedback into the script to create a much better introduction/brief glimpse into the main character’s life/mind and overall creditability to the story.

One of the comments was with Logan being an artist. He plays piano also and is gifted at that. But the suggestion was that being a gifted pianist instead of a painter has more credibility; pressure-wise within the family and society. It also creates an interesting mix with his painting as it shows his inner feelings and piano his outer so-called ‘act’ persona.

But the main thing I learnt was about getting too personal and allowing it hold a script back. From the beginning, I always knew that this script was different and I was prepared to be a little stubborn in some cases to keep certain things in and as a result receive a lower mark. But that’s all now changed of course. It’s the first time I’ve had that kind of attitude with a script as this story was different (personally) but its now become the last. I'm glad I realized it in time and a few alterations were made, which overall made the script a lot better. Less is always more and everything doesn't always need spelling out; that's what subtext is for.

The story and characters are always first. Not me.

‘The happy people are failures because they are on such good terms with themselves they don’t give a damn.’

-Agatha Christie

One Hour Drama.

For the last two weeks i've been working on a new idea for the one hour drama and have managed to create something just as dramatic and moving as Requiem. Oddly enough it was one of the ideas that came out not going with that.

For next term we need to have two outlines for this. So for my second I have two ideas in mind and they also came out of leaving Requiem:

1. A social/political sci-fi drama about a future who favour politcial honour over family.
2. A family drama about the effect of a high school shooting on the killer's family.

I still want to complete a first draft of this for next term. Although at the moment i think i should be concentrating the two outlines.

Requiem.

Requiem is no more. As the one hour drama anyway.

For awhile the thought about losing this story to the university had crossed my mind. But i thought if i think that about everything then i'll never be able to finish anything. So i just carried on. Everything about the idea and its characters just seemed to get better and better. I could see the film complete from beginning to end, from scene to scene, from motive to motive, how it would be filmed and acted, everything. So i decided it was time to start writing a scene breakdown. I only completed the first act.. At forty-something development pages and a month of ecstasy with it. I knew that this wasn't my one hour drama.

I came to the point where two things clicked at the same time. One, this story was a feature film and it would be an injustice to cut it short and Two, i don't want to give this up to the university. So after having the greatest feeling about a story and love for its characters i immediately stopped and closed down the file. A weird sudden-divorce. All i wanted to do was get a head start on the project to free up some time next term. I was way ahead but now felt like I had wasted a month and was behind. After the initial panic and self-doubt (I'm not going to top this!) I got down to business and followed my instincts. Even at the sudden departure i felt excited about finding a new idea because it was a challenge.

Many ideas came and felt great in terms of human drama and originality. But the more I developed these ideas the more they appeared larger than sixty minutes or didn't feel as good as Requiem. What was depressing is that in some cases they were more dramatic. But that wasn't the problem. I then got a bit paranoid because i knew that if i didn't top Requiem - then i'd never find an idea. But i thought that wouldn't happen. Not right away anyway. All i needed was time away as it was still fresh. So it was like a sudden divorce. I needed healing time, which is crazy if you think about it. It is only a script. And i might be taking it too seriously.

But its through this process that i believe (as corny as it sounds) that everything happens for a reason. If i didn't have that moment of realisation then I would have missed the opportunity of coming across some of my best ideas yet.

I've got a new indie comedy-drama feature, which i feel great about and within a few hours was fully formed. At one stage this was going to be my one hour drama but then got too good and i realised also that it was a feature story.

Also as a result i've got a great drama premise, which is too specific to post, but is very close to becoming my one hour drama. It's sad as hell and surpasses Requiem and anything i've written. All that's stopping it - is its title. I could have everything i want in a story but if the title isn't right then it won't happen. Its crucial.

One of the problems of getting the right idea for this is its end climax - it has to be explosive in its final moments of absolute drama. My last two scripts; for Narratives and Audiences had this element and its something i feel i need to top for this. If i don't feel that high octane/dramatic peak of everything coming together for the story's climax - then i won't bother with an idea. No matter how good it is.

I know its not a good idea to put unecessary pressure on yourself but in this case it seemed to work. For me personally i work better under pressure and having to overcome the next challenge - although to have time with an idea to fully explore and develop it is something else.

'Follow your instincts' is something that continues to amaze me. I don't know if its true for everyone but i know it works for me. But even with the bad choices or even losing notes on an idea something better ends up surfacing. What will be - will be. Shit happens. Damn i thought Requiem was the one!!

Godspeed.

We have our new assignment. The one hour drama. We only have to have two outlines by the new term. But i want to take full advantage of the time we have and get started straight away.

Initially I thought about breaking away from the family drama of my previous uni scripts and try something new and challenging. Also I knew that I couldn’t top the tragic pain of Christine and her final actions in Sinking (Narratives) or the paralysing guilt and mourning felt by Jason in Marlow Road (Audiences). But it’s a genre I’m drawn to and feel strongly about so I decided to proceed into the new challenge.

The initial title was Godspeed and is based on a one situation-short story I wrote. The character of Logan and the situation will form the basis and opening for my one hour drama.

I’ve begun initial development on the characters and certain revealing scenes: human affection, revealing hidden emotion, universal messages on being human etc. - They are what a character in ‘Waking Life’ refers to as ‘the holy moments’ in a film. They are what I see first in a story or a particular character from initial conception and then I create everything around it that precedes and follows. A script/film is all about those moments. About being alive and knowing it.

After initial development on Logan and his story, I began to think about his parents. Once I knew where they were both coming from and where they’d end up I had a problem; because now they are competing for centre stage. All three characters stories and character arcs are just as powerful as each others. This then led me to rethink the title and change it to something that not only reflected the state of Logan but all of the main characters.

That’s when Requiem was born. This then inspired me to create a premise for each main character in relation to the title. What I found was that the three of them are each dying from something different. And it’s within this combined tragedy that I hope to create something far more dramatic and unlike anything I’ve ever written.

The amount of time we have before we officially get this assignment is too good to waste. So I hope to have a scene by scene breakdown (at least) by the start of the new term and a first draft by Christmas. This will leave enough time for a second maybe third re-write and final draft revisions before the deadline in April/May 2008.

Something that I didn’t really do on my previous scripts and that I will do for this is research. At the same time as developing the story and characters I will do as much research into their world and themselves as I can. My arena for Marlow Road wasn’t very strong and for a story of this length I think that arena and equally character research is just as important as what happens.