Friday, 25 July 2008

That Novice Feeling...

If it’s true that it takes an average ten years to carve out a career in screenwriting then next June when I graduate from university, will officially mark the beginning of year one.

A scary! and exciting thought!

I think I’m going go and lie down for a bit...

(cue tumble weed)

Time passing...

Ok I’m back.

Hopefully the following are some familiar feelings with some of you and are just a part of developing and things I’ll grow out of:

‘Time is running out.’

‘I’m taking on too much and looking for that overnight success.’

‘I’m trying too hard to succeed and then being disheartened even though my goals were unrealistic in the first place.’

‘I’m constantly worried that a similar idea will be released and kill my babies. So everything needs to be written straight away!’

‘I pile on loads of unnecessary pressure and as a result question my ability and staying power.’

‘I constantly put myself down by others apparent confidence because of my lack of.’

What I should be thinking is:

‘I’m not superman and need to relax!! It’s for the long term and so enjoy it.’

‘I need to do more writing than worrying.’

‘Being negative will get me nowhere.’

I’m hungry for this and often worry I won’t be tough enough in the long run. So I feel like if it doesn’t happen soon then it won’t happen. So I’m trying to do everything.

Being at university adds to that pressure and the desire is transformed into a sudden need to succeed and quick!! The course from the outside is seen as a quick way into the industry and being a great writer. But for most they’re forgetting the all important journey of learning and how high those expectations of you really are. And for me being around that denial and negative attitude slowly had me thinking the same thing and not truly understanding how hard it really is to succeed and how good you really have to be.

I just need to chill out about it all and find some solid ground to sit down on and build those steps one by one.

Oh that novice feeling…

Knowing when to stop talking :) and saying goodbye to that quick solution and secret door in. Amongst other things...

It’s going to be a long ride and I’m in.

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