What We Take For Granted.

Another day, another killer virus.

Although, this time thankfully, I was somewhat prepared. Some stuff was lost but the main stuff was recovered due to previous back up.

So I'm calm and embracing the change.

Time to upgrade to paid virus protection? You bet.

Fate?

Well naturally, it will go under that banner as it makes more sense than to worry about the losses and to focus on what I do have and what will come into being.

Although, it was time to let go and lose some old projects, which I had an inkling were out of time and were holding me back. Ultimately, it was another wake up call for even stricter rules on backing up files and choosing suitable future projects for a specific purpose.

One of the projects lost in the fire that readers may be familiar with was fictional blog Black Sands, which was an interesting story and challenge but ultimately had no purpose than to entertain and to learn from. It had no future place and would have taken time away from the important projects and things I should be writing that are potentially leading somewhere. And of course, are commercial entities. Although, in hindsight it would have made a cool videogame.

Something that I did take for granted was the dual health of my laptop and myself, and how we are fundamentally connected and ultimately form as a whole organism. As I can't function without it. When it was ill I became the same because I was unable to continue my usual routine of writing (and reading scripts) and the enjoyment and challenge that that brings. Not to mention I was in a dead zone with no progress being made and I didn't like that. Also, not being connected to the internet, who could handle that?

In turn, taking the health and safety of our computers for granted brings me onto a larger entity that we often take for granted, not so much our own health, which is important but I was thinking more along the lines of that undervalued beauty of time. Maybe not an actual entity itself but one we live by. Its realisation comes into view when practically all of it goes on a nine to five job, friends, family and other responsibilities. So comes the moment when you realise that you cannot bend time to suit your own needs, and are indeed mortal and won't live forever.

In total, the time spent on our day jobs, sleeping, travelling, friends, family and on other activities leaves little time for those things like writing that we want to overindulge in and accomplish. But do we always use what time is there for the taking?

Each day we are a step closer to the inevitable but we still tend to put things off. An hour or an evening there, a weekend here. Like money, time is precious and is even easier to waste. However, wasting time is worse than throwing your hard-earned money down the drain because you can always earn more money, but you cannot get back time.

When the hourglass is full, it's full, and it can only be turned upright so many times. Taking responsibility for and having an appreciation of time is one of the most important screenwriting lessons to learn, as it'll be difficult to get anywhere without it. As it's all about practice, preparation, and patience. Not to mention perseverance. But with being prepared comes confidence, and with confidence comes the ability to seize an opportunity or to create one. As a lot of serious writers will say, there is no overnight trick or magic that will take you from one place to overnight success. It's about hard work and putting the time in, but most of all, it's about the journey.

With money, like time, the beauty is in knowing how to use it. As both of them can add up to a greater sum when valued in moderation over time. So why not take it easy and shed the worry of being in a rush or not being good enough.

Everything takes time. So enjoy it.

Naturally, with backing up your files it doesn't become an issue until it happens to you. But for those who have not considered an online back up source. This one is excellent and free for a lite account, and saved my behind: http://www.box.net/. Just upload the main files for now. You'll thank me later. Alternatively, go to Writing for Performance and read the info there on backing up your files and keeping your computer (and therefore yourself) in good health.

Now onwards to the shop for that external hard drive!

"What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure."

- Samuel Johnson

A Paid Writer.

Yep, it's true.

And I can say that with great conviction and truth.

However, the statement does belong in the flimsy box of little white lies. As the money isn't from being a writer. I just finally have a regular job, that's all, and one that I get paid for. So, effectively, I am a paid writer!

I feel even more confident already.

I think, a 'funded writer,' is more appropriate, as 'paid writer,' could decieve a few into reading a post that has nothing to do with being paid for a commission.

However, an added bonus, besides less free time to ponder the pressure of wanting to be a real paid writer, and having money, is that the job is in an internet book store, and so i'm working with at least a few thousand books a day that pass through my vision. So in my current situation, it's the ideal job really, as it stimulates my mind whilst working and i'm constantly on the creative conveyer belt. I couldn't ask for more than that and in a time where I would have been lucky to just get any job.

But now there's less time in the day for writing, which gives rise to an even greater appreciation of the time I do have. This routine, and no choice of when I write, is what I hope will get me into a great routine and go full speed on my TV Drama Spec and The Screenwriting Craft. As well as, sister blog, Black Sands, if I am able to recover it from its descent into madness and confusion that is the mass of ideas and ambitious storytelling it has become. Maybe it was a little ambitious? - Obviously, but it's a challenge and one i'm not giving up on. However, I do hope to achieve more than one post this year!

Anyway, being a writer and getting a regular flow of money is living the dream, right?

The Watch Post #1.

Avatar has made $1.1bn in 21 days... [-]

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is a very entertaining and accomplished film... [-]

Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol is an exciting read and a worthy follow up to The Da Vinci Code... [-]

Richard Laymon's The Travelling Vampire Show is being adapted into a film... [-]

Moon is one of the most unique and moving films I have ever seen... [-]

Channel 4's Catastrophe documentary series has got me appreciating life more... [-]

The BU Verdict.

2:1 = Proud and made up.

I got my 2:1 grade on Friday and my assignment percentages today, and I'm made up. After handing in my last assignments, I had convinced myself that I would get a 2:2 due to being really ambitious with my screenplay (major project) and running out of time to re-read and polish the slugger.

In the aftermath, I did focus a lot on what was wrong with my work and if I had the time what I would have improved, which clearly didn't help. But in the end, the screenplay was my highest grade - 2% off a first and definitely something to learn from.

The grade has created a solid foundation for my confidence and future, which is what I needed.

Attending this course was once a distant dream for me and thought impossible, but after a lot of hard work and patience, I got accepted, then decided to defer...

Then it all gets fuzzy.

But it is great and surreal to say that 'I have achieved a major dream of mine' and many small ones along the way.

However, this next one is gonna be a humdinga!

Abducted by Aliens, Possessed or Other?

It's been far too long since my last post and I don't quite know what happened. I had solid plans to keep posting, updating and keeping track of progress but then one of the above happened.

In a rather large nutshell; I remember completing ZZZZZ and writing a TV Major project in Jan, completing my minor project in early Feb, moving back home late Feb, and then back to uni three days later: found a comfortable place to live and work, donated some money to Danny Stack's Origins, did the impossible and completed my dissertation, wrote the final narration for The Unsucksessful Vampire (AIB), got the dvd for TV Major and was very pleased, left uni and the lifestyle for good in May, and I'm now in my second week of a placement in London with Blake Friedmann. Plus, essentially cool to note, living in the street Black Books used to be!

And what have I learnt?

That it may be worth...

...having self-respect to avoid wasting time and energy in the future.

...having self-belief, again to avoid wasting time and energy, to make the process and experience a lot better and a large step to future achievements.

...accepting that horrendous feeling, insecurities and worry of failure as a necessary route to achieving the impossible and to success.

...applying butt to chair whatever the weather as some progress and the zone potentially is only a few words away.

...in order to stay healthy and alive to not eat Iceland pancakes and egg fried rice and chips for three months.

There may be more but it's been a long day.

However, the answer to the above, apart from my dissertation period undoubtedly possessed, is: Other.

The Coming Year & Previous in Review.

The year ahead, for me (and like many other people) is going to be the biggest challenge I've had to face so far. It will comprise of not only managing to complete my university work and graduating but also maintaining confidence in myself and work, and momentum in my career ambitions after returning home.

I've never particularly liked being at university (aside from the course) and so the prospect of returning home to begin 'year one' is an exciting one. I can't deny that the experience has helped me to develop as a writer and a person. But at 23 I went to uni later than the average age and so didn't benefit socially like the majority. But the way I saw it, is that at 17-19 you go and have a great social experience and maybe figure out what you want to do and make some great friends. At 23, I was already set on what I wanted to do and obviously wanted to enjoy myself, but soon realised that I didn't fit into it because I had grown out of that mentality and striving to be accepted. I will miss certain aspects of university life especially since the beginning of the third year;

1. The creative environment and having a small group to hang out and share work with.

2.Being involved collectively in something fresh and exciting, and helping each other to develop.

3. The opportunities for collaborating with students from other courses and neighbouring Arts Institute.

The past year has been a roller coaster for me and would be rather difficult to summarise. Overall it ended on a high note with many positive achievements and developments to look back on and feel proud of.

1. Year 2. May. The one big achievement and development has been completing 'Requiem', the one hour drama assignment. I reached a new level of writing and aftermath bliss with that script and its out of uni rewrite became something of a revelation. The script process and story has helped develop and change me more than any other, and I look back on it with extremely fond and proud memories. It was written during a difficult and miserable time at uni and it helped me get through that period in a way that I don't think any person could have done.

2. Year 3. Term 1. Moving house once again proved to be the right move, as it has opened me up to what I term 'the real uni experience' that i had missed in the first two years. So it's nice now to experience the benefits of the social side entwined with the working side and for the first time being able to enjoy being at university.

3. Year 3. Oct. Work Experience, with Zig Zag Productions in London. An incredible two weeks. It was my first time in London and combined with the life as a runner, changed my life and helped to put things into perspective. The position at Zig Zag helped me to identify the major weakness in myself (confidence) and what I need to do to maintain a confident and happy lifestyle wherever I work.

Some other notable achievements and developments;

1. Overcoming nerves and fear to deliver two effective presentations.
2. Writing my Episode Drama (after switching episodes) in six days and recieving a grade first for it.
3. Working with an MA Animation student on 'Book' and others. (An effective beginning in the art of animation writing).
4. Realising that 'Story and Character come first. Not me.'
5. Building on professional practice with colleagues.
6. Writing a BATV3 minor project without meeting the person.
7. Overcoming fear and lack of confidence in sharing ideas.
8. Writing a second BATV3 minor project that wasn't used (but became a personal and professional revelation).
9. Beginning collaboration on BAIMP3 major project.

I'd like to use this post as an opportunity to address the upcoming tasks, milestones and ideal things I'd like to accomplish in the coming year: (some by definition have begun)

-ZZZZZ: An Interactive Website - (BA IMP3 Collaboration)
-Have 'Vampire' or 'Book' produced by MA Animation students
-Minor Project Feature Film Pitch/Presentation - (Uni)
-The Unsuckessful Vampire - [Write the narration] - (AIB)
-WWII Drama Feature Screenplay - (Uni)
-Dissertation - (Uni)
-Carry out four weeks work experience with Big Wave Productions - (Uni)
-Successfully graduate with a 2/2 at least - (Uni)
-Get a full time job back home - (July)
-Write 'A&A' Television Drama Script -(June/July)
-Write 'N' or 'H' Television Pilot - (Summer)
-Continue fictional blog 'Black Sands'
-Write Television Proposal for 'BM' and send to S9 producer
-Write 'Undecided Project' or rewrite 'WWII Drama' - (Oct 09 to March 10)
-Maintain professional working relationships with colleagues
-Set up a few weeks work experience with a television company for 2010
-Have Credit Cards paid off by Christmas

The biggest challenge that has me worried is the Dissertation. Academic writing has never been my strong point and so I know I'm going to struggle with doing well on that. It's the reason I'll be happy with at least a 2/2 grade from the course because I know this assignment will bring my whole grade down. Alternatively, a 1st or 2/1 on my feature will take away any disappointment from an overall 3rd. As doing well in the feature script is more important to me than doing well in the dissertation, and in the long run.

I may not be able to achieve everything on the list and it may be a little ambitious, but as long as I graduate from uni then that's the biggest one out of the way and then the others will eventually fall into place.

Rock on 2009...

ZZZZZ - The World Of Deep Sleep.

Over the last month I’ve been working with a third year Interactive Media Production student on his major project; an 'interactive first-person game narrative website'. The story is that Colour has been stolen from Deep Sleep and your goal is to return it to its former glory through varied game play and narrative sections.

The collaboration came about through an email sent out to the scriptwriters 'looking for a scriptwriter to write the scripts to an already set story'. So I initially thought that it would be a) a quick job b) a challenge for myself to distill his vision into script form and c) I would be helping this guy out. Plus d) since the summer project in the first year, I wanted to be involved on another interactive website. So I replied and heard back from him pretty soon.

The initial meeting went well and I heard the concept for the website and was intrigued and interested. The great thing was that it was a leftfield concept that I’d like to create and would want to play. From our chat I realised that the overall story was there but in step-by-step script/story detail it wasn’t as set as I thought. And so I discovered that there was room for my own ideas to feature within the project at various sections and he was happy to give me the freedom to carry that out. I was really happy because I got to be creative not only on a narrative level but on a gameplay level also. So it was the best outcome for me.

He’d had a few replies from second year scriptwriters but I was the only third year that replied to him. And upon that basis I was offered the task of writing the scripts for the project, which I happily accepted. The others though were held as standbys in case I wasn’t available to complete all the sections.

An appropriate note; would be that after the meeting I was elated on a creative level but also extremely worried because I’d never written an interactive first person game script before. I was worried that my work would fall short and I‘d let him down. But I approached it on the basis that I’m only going to write what I would enjoy playing and as my expectations are sky high, I knew that on some level I would achieve my objective.

The next meeting we spoke about one of the in-game rooms and the first script I would write. The story for the room had a character who was an obstacle and gave you riddles, in which you had to answer to receive a key. There was no specifics on the room, or the character but a generic type or anything that existed in the room that had to feature. It was just those three specific things; a character, riddles and a key. So I was able to come up with the story, dialogue, enhanced character and scenario that complimented the world of Deep Sleep; and plotting and direction that enhanced the experience from a first person point of view.

Something that's worth noting is that before when working on something that I'm unsure with or ideas in general, I would be too scared to show them to anybody in fear of embarrassment or rejection. But as I've now built up good working relationships with two scriptwriting colleagues and trust their judgement, it has given me the confidence to show them work (and now others) without much fear but the desire to find the missing elements to make it work. And I somewhat anxiously showed this 'room script' to a close colleague and he approved and said he liked it, which helped to ease my insecurities with it. Over the last six months sharing ideas and scripts has become second nature and my view is simply; 'you win some, you lose some' and try not to take any feedback, however harsh and founded to heart and take everything into consideration to make it better.

Upon meeting for the reviewing of the script I was still a little nervous and anxious that it wouldn’t be good enough and I‘d have to change parts. But I was completely ecstatic and happy with the script from my point of view as a player. But my nerves were short lived as he loved the script and said it was perfect. He said it was exactly what he wanted. He said 'he wanted it to carry a story within the room' and so was really pleased with it.

I was extremely happy and looking forward to writing the next room, which had the same three obstacle/goal elements as the previous; a) three characters, b) puzzles and c) collect a parchment. And it was up to me to create the story scenario, dialogue and interaction within the room and narrative. The review meeting for this script was a good one also as he was happy with it which was reassuring as I wasn’t a hundred percent happy with it, unlike the previous. I was about ninety percent happy with it. He shared the same reservations about the gameplay and wasn’t satisfied that the puzzles and lead into them was the best it could be. But he said as that was his area he would figure that out.

Recently I’ve completed an intro to the first chapter and an outro, which consist of meeting a character and receiving your task; and returning to the character to return what he asked you to get. They total two pages in length and follow the premise and conclusion of the story for that chapter. He was really happy with those and didn’t need any changes to be made.

I’ve also completed the third room script for the first chapter of which the previous two room scripts are a part of. The room was more involved on the gameplay and less on dialogue and character action, and so was the shorter and less free creatively than the other two. But enjoyable nonetheless. Again, he was happy with the script apart from one line of dialogue which needs to be changed.

At the moment Chapter Two requires a few small video and dialogue sections to be written. The entire chapter is based around a specific interactive format with set stories and so only requires character dialogue. I hope to have that completed within a day or two. Then work on Chapter Three will begin. I have a rough idea of what’s required but I‘m awaiting the overview. There is a fourth and final conclusive chapter of which I have no info about as I don‘t think it‘s been decided yet. So I don’t know what to expect there. But it must include a closing video to round up the main characters story and the experience.

Overall things are going well with this although time is pressing as the shoot is schedule for the 5th of Jan. But looking back I did hesitate about this advertisement and job because I had no experience or confidence in carrying it out effectively. But somehow, I just thought that it can't hurt to see what it's all about and so 'nothing ventured nothing gained.'

An important note and testament is that as much as I like the scripts I wrote (with room one being my favourite) I’m not possessive of them. I’m happy if anything is changed because I’ve done my part and I respect that it‘s somebody else‘s project and that I was just there to help provide the best scripts I could.

Overall, the project has been a really challenging and highly rewarding experience, even at the half-way stage. It’s been a nice experience and I hope that ZZZZZ can be realised to its full potential.

And I can’t wait to play it.

That Novice Feeling...

If it’s true that it takes an average ten years to carve out a career in screenwriting then next June when I graduate from university, will officially mark the beginning of year one.

A scary! and exciting thought!

I think I’m going go and lie down for a bit...

(cue tumble weed)












Time passing...
















Ok I’m back.

Hopefully the following are some familiar feelings with some of you and are just a part of developing and things I’ll grow out of:

‘Time is running out.’

‘I’m taking on too much and looking for that overnight success.’

‘I’m trying too hard to succeed and then being disheartened even though my goals were unrealistic in the first place.’

‘I’m constantly worried that a similar idea will be released and kill my babies. So everything needs to be written straight away!’

‘I pile on loads of unnecessary pressure and as a result question my ability and staying power.’

‘I constantly put myself down by others apparent confidence because of my lack of.’

What I should be thinking is:

‘I’m not superman and need to relax!! It’s for the long term and so enjoy it.’

‘I need to do more writing than worrying.’

‘Being negative will get me nowhere.’

I’m hungry for this and often worry I won’t be tough enough in the long run. So I feel like if it doesn’t happen soon then it won’t happen. So I’m trying to do everything.

Being at university adds to that pressure and the desire is transformed into a sudden need to succeed and quick!! The course from the outside is seen as a quick way into the industry and being a great writer. But for most they’re forgetting the all important journey of learning and how high those expectations of you really are. And for me being around that denial and negative attitude slowly had me thinking the same thing and not truly understanding how hard it really is to succeed and how good you really have to be.

I just need to chill out about it all and find some solid ground to sit down on and build those steps one by one.

Oh that novice feeling…

Knowing when to stop talking :) and saying goodbye to that quick solution and secret door in. Amongst other things...

It’s going to be a long ride and I’m in.

Disclaimer.

I always feel weird when doing these blog entries because with some posts I feel that no one really cares what I'm doing or what it may seem like I'm bragging about. But I figure blogs are an online diary so it's more like talking to yourself than anyone specific or wanting attention or gratification. So for any readers keep the latter point in mind.

For instance, If I say a recent idea I have is incredible, unique, genius or the best thing since a knife that toasts as it slices (which I'll invent one day), its being said to myself. Its thinking and reflecting out loud so its always going to sound different to other people.

You've probably guessed by now that I have a complex with being misunderstood or misinterpreted - hence the disclaimer. So excuse the post. Although I'm sure no ones reading my blog as its a little remote so it does render this post useless. And yes there's another complex there.

:)

Back Home. The Summer. Pt.1

I've been home for two weeks now and things aren't progressing as well as I thought they would. I have lots to do and can't wait to do it all. But i'm in a weird limbo due to still not having the full six weeks for the placement.

Plus we still don't have our last assignment results and I'm waiting for four assignment marks. Two, I know are going to be pretty low (worringly low), which are essays and the the other two I think will be high, which are my one hour drama and professional studies. The one hour drama mark is the only one really i'm waiting for. It's the best script i've written and whatever the mark is destined to have a big impact.

I'm still applying to companies for placements. It's insane how many companies there actually are especially the smaller and obscure ones that you can only find on certain searches. Some of them are very impressive for their quality and output and some of them are about thirty-minutes from where i live. Most of them are factual production companies but work experience is work experience and i'd be happy to work there. So fingers are crossed for one of those.

I have about ten different covering letters which include general, script reading, runner, animation studios, factual and company specific ones and i'm beginning to lose track of them. It's also annoying how every time after I send a CV and Covering Letter out I get an idea on how to improve it.

I also need to sort out some system of getting a hold on motivation and getting things done throughout the summer and to regular deadlines. The plan, workwise for the summer is to make progress with the third year work. But mainly completing WWII Drama and Dark Comedy treatments. Continuing with the production log for WWII Drama plus research for it going to the location and all that. I aim to have a good draft of Steph's minor project also. Plus other scripts and animations that were started awhile ago.

I think the main thing is to try and not to do too much like last summer. I planned to do a whole lot at the beginning and it all seemed like it was going to happen. But like i mentioned before; mood, lack of motivation and external factors got in the way. Although, a nice pilot script was written so some good did come out of it. But hopefully this summer i can keep the momentum and confidence going through to the new term so I can get everything done.

The Looking Glass.

At some point in the first year, I realised I needed to let go of those big dreams of feature films and Hollywood and be realistic. So they went. Even television is ridiculously difficult to break into and has a lot more to do with luck than talent. It's a much closer dreamland and more possible than film. But something that concerns me is that i don't know if i'm being realistic enough. After all, part of being a writer is being a dreamer.

Through this year I've tried to be as realistic as possible and by the last term felt like my feet where on the ground. But even now i don't think they really are. Clearly it helps to have that dream horizon in your minds eye but how much is it really clouding my vision? That's what worries me. It is a extremely competitive industry and is 'survival of the fittest.' I'm not optimistic by nature, so this is a new thing for me and I know adapting isn't going to be easy.

I see two areas where my near future lies within television; realistically and where I want to be. They are still a giant leap to a very, very far away place but it does help to look at it in a different way and by breaking it down into achievable steps. The best thing I can do now and aim for, is the next step from my current position.

The two areas of interest and where my near future (and hopefully future will contain) lies in: (order)

Television; soaps, one-off dramas, high-concept genre series, and Animation; shorts and serial.

The second is more competitive and difficult to get into. Its a very specific market and therefore is more closed off to newcomers. So that will naturally take a backseat.

The third interest, independent UK feature films is a much larger step and one that will be more achievable after being established in the industry and supporting various credits and contacts.

The mode of approach is to target the main area; television and the sub-areas (companies/genres) within that:

Checklist>

1. Find out who is producing what, what have they done, companies and producers attitudes and ethics, how they commission projects, what they're looking to make, who has the power, who to approach etc.

2. Find out the history/conventions of your chosen subjects/genre and know them inside out.

3. Find potential ways into the market i.e Graduate schemes, BBC Talent and C4 Talent etc. Shows open to submissions i.e Doctors. Voluntary/low paid work i.e. runner.

4. Keep writing and regularly as possible (with strict personal deadlines).

5. Keep watching television - analyze shows and past/current trends. Looking for and spotting an unexplored niche or new way of doing something.

5. Enter scriptwriting competitions and gain recognition for your writing.

6. Keep in touch with television student contacts and offer your services for any potential short student films they may make.

It does seems simple and straightforward when spelt out. But at times it'll be akin to hell i'm sure and that's when the so-called virtues will come into play.